i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
