The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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