Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize