how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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