I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
