I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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