Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I know her cup size but not her name....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
