i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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