She announced her abortion via fbk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
