Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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