if you like me you must not know who I am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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