Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
