Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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