I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
