Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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