Barsexuality is the new black.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
