Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you didnt know i had herpes?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.