I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face