It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot