wanna go halves on a baby?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms