Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
