Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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