Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
