Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
