What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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