So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
