I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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