he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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