dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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