And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
