Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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