All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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