after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
