I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
