ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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