I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she looked like the before picture.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
