White coat. Heels.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
