I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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