I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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