Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
