the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I need a beard to bite.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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