Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Im part way to drunk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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