We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
