'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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