Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
pray to the hookup gods
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
