have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
