So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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