2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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