Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
