Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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