Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize