Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
