lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize