belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
