i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
