Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize