You really coming over, don't trick.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
