i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
