Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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