Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
