WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
