you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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