Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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